I’ve been training non stop when I am awake these days in hopes to catch up with Pallas and go on an adventure to obtain the rat pelt hood. I am sick of this centaur helm. I have never fancied it one bit. It’s awkward and lumpy and feels too heavy for my head. It is certainly time for a change. And after what felt like an age Pallas and I visited John together who was pleased with our progress and advanced us.

Things in the lands are quiet - much too quiet. I wait to hear word from the counsel of clerics in Branishor. Wait for something - anything. Wait for an absolution that may never come. I want to be happy - and I am in a sense. I love Pallas, my guild family and I have become stronger and less pained recently . . .yet I feel darkness and doubt stirring inside me. I can not even sooth it in my painting, try as I might. I hope each day I might find some new art supplies, but there are none to be found, and my own supplies are dwindling. Maybe I should just give up all together. Nothing I paint is any good anyhow.

I know we are strong but for the precious time we have actually gotten to spend together recently - I’ve never felt more distant then I do this moment. And I promised I would never doubt - but I think what I feel in this moment is indeed doubt.